Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
We got so high we made milksteak
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
