I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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