it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize