i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
soo... how was my night?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
