awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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