Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
