I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
