I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Randomize
