Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
