Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
