Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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