i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
