and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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