forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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