Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
