Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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