TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
