he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Randomize