I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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