god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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