no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
