What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i dont even know how to be here
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
