OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
my being single is dangerous.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize