dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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