i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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