I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
