the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
