we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
