I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
