tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
