you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
