Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
