the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
