apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Houston, we have a blender
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
