david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I could make wine with my vomit
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
