i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
