I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
