I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize