guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
50% drunk capacity currently
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
