I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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