he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
