All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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