The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
