Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
