Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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