i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
