your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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