Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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