Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize