ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
