I think my vagina is haunted
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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