nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
