in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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