I'm lost and stupid without you.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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