When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
