we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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