I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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