I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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