i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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