You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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