Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
