What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I need a beard to bite.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
